Jamie does leftovers

Just watched Jamie Oliver make toast with tomato smeared on it, topped with boiled nettles and grated cheddar. That's the sort of meal I have when I have run out of food in the cupboards. Apparently that's what Greek people eat. I wonder if Greek Nationalists are targeting his home.

They should let me do the Sainsburys adverts. It is just me eating some baked beans with some stale crusts and primula squeezed on top. Then I turn to the camera and say "mmmmmm, Real food" with a sincere half-smile.

Other recipes include

Rice with salad cream and salt
Peanuts on cake
Peas and oven chips soup
Mustard pasta bake
Peppered hot eggs in chicken soup (or madonna and child)
Kettle cooked noodles with Aspirin and potted beef

Mo ho ho

Moho Manchester

Just woke up in Manchester after playing our first show in 8 months. It was really good. We tried out some of the new material and it seemed to be received pretty well… made me think that actually having spent all this time writing and not doing gigs has been well spent as now we have a bunch of songs that I feel really happy with and that are a hopefully some of our best yet.

My highlight of the evening was watching two guys fighting in the city centre. They were both pretty drunk and loony so neither one was more in the right than the other but there is still something fairly upsetting about watching someone push a guy out of his wheelchair and stamp on his head. There must be a song lyric in there somewhere.

Also we went and did a session on the mark Riley show on 6 Music which I think went well. He is a friendly guy and I always forget he was in the Fall until we have left the studio, which is lucky for him or I would bore him to death with nerdy questions. I always imagine Mark E smith to be a bit like Charles Manson. Really convincing and eloquent but ultimately bitter and nasty.

Bands that reference eastern stuff to make themselves sound exotic and interesting.
Japan
Japandroids
China Crisis
There are lots more but I can’t think of them right now.

Fuck off Comedy central

Bad Man: IS THAT A FAKE MUSTACHE AND GLASSES YOUR MATE IS WEARING? IS HE IN DISGUISE?
Me: No
Bad Man: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE WEARING FAKE GLASSES. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE ON THE RUN FROM THE POLICE.
Me : No I'm not.
Bad Man: WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
Me: Well you look like you are wearing a fake baldy disguise but Unfortunately I can see no edges so it must be real. How do you know where to stop when you are washing your face?
Bad Man: FUCK OFF COMEDY CENTRAL.
Me: Piss off Jimmy Somerville.



I was proud of myself for nearly a whole day after.